MEN AND NON-VIOLENCE
Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
From
1999-2002, Deborah Dupre had the privilege of living and working in
the Republic of Vanuatu, a Least Developing Pacific Island Nation. As throughout the globe,
violence was an issue impacting the culture there,one of the oldest licing cultures in the world.
Live In Vanuatu Everyday, a learning project that
Dupre' initiated, was based on
international best practices including the highlights below. She used these pracitices as basis of her grassroots Training of Trainer workshops in villages with Chiefs, their families, teachers and village administrators.
Dupre' traveled to remote island villages to work with chiefs, their families tribes that had invited her after hearing about her work over "coconut radio." In the villages, local interpreters worked alongside her.
In traditional fashion, upon arrival in most of the villages, she awaited on its outskirts until greeted by the village Chief. Workshops typically occurred seated in a circle on mats on the ground. Upon completion of the workshops that typically lasted several days, when leaving, villagers gathered to sing farewells and give flowers for her to wear.
"One of the most fascinating experiences was hiking for two days after being rowed into the ocean to reach one small, very remote island village. They'd never had a white person stay in their village until I did. They were the kindest, most gentle people," said Dupre', adding with a smile, "The hike back in the dark and dodging huge snakes on the path was a bit daunting. The locals carried home-made torches into the quite night while we walked, though, and they knew we were OK. I'll never forget the look of despair on one girl's face. Headlice, malaria and kava addiciton make life too hard for too many niVans."
Dupre' used the following as her guide for discussions and activities in the villages.
MEN FOR NON-VIOLENCE: AN INTRODUCTION
Women
have successfully organized to move men's violence against women from
hidden places into the open and the forefront of policy and health
issues. This movement is a part of a broader effort that includes
women's human rights.
Men's violence against women includes:
Physical violence - both sexual and non-sexual
Verbal,
Emotional and
Economic abuse.
Men’s violence is perpetrated through:
War,
Enslavement and
Genocide;
in the
workplace,
the social structure and
at large; and in
intimate relationships.
Vanuatu Men Against Violence focuses
on ending all the conditions that enable and perpetuate men’s violence
against women with whom they are in intimate relationships.
Men hold sexist beliefs, and these beliefs fuel their choices to assault women with whom they are partnered.
Cultural
norms and social and institutional practices often promote and act out
of those sexist beliefs, allowing men to "get away" with their
assaults. The work of Vanuatu Men for Non-Violence is social change.
Men's
violence against women that keeps a specific group (men) dominant over
another (women) is one part of the same system of status oppression that also
includes:
Racism
Classism and
Heterosexism.
As a result, men have tools they use against different women.
While
these tools may differ, the purposes is the same: power and control. Thus,
justice for women cannot be achieved through ending sexism solely, but
will require ending racism, classism, and all other forms of oppression.
MAN VANUATU BLONG NON-VIOLENCE MISSION STATEMENT
We,
Live In Vanuatu Everyday! (LIVE!) Man Vanuatu Blong Non-Violence
members are a grassroots force guided by reality of the need for peace
in our homes, communities and country. We are not affiliated with any
one denomination or political party nor do we support any one religion
or political party.
We aspire to believe in all that is good, just and fair for all because we recognize that all are equal.
We
look for the truth and always aspire to speak the truth. We observe
increasing destructive elements in our culture to the detriment of life
in Vanuatu air, land, water, life and people on every island falling
prey to those destructive elements.
Our
mission is to find and replace each destructive element with a
nourishing one. Our mission is to highlight and nurture each
Ni-Vanuatu's consciousness, an integral part of their human spirit.
We aim to Be and to LIVE! our mission, not to only say ‘we believe it.’
The
mission of Man Vanuatu Blong Non-Violence is to eliminate violence in
relationships, and to this end, these standards propose that any
programming be:
1. Accountable to prior and potential victims of violence with regard to their safety.
2. Confront the aggressor’s violent behaviour.
3. Supportive of the violent person’s process to change.
4. Accountable to Circles of Compassion and domestic violence shelter(s) as well as domestic violence networks.
5. Coordinate with the community agencies that address domestic violence
MAN FOR NON-VIOLENCE PLEDGE
VANUATU MEN AGAINST VIOLENCE TOWARDS SELF AND OTHERS
I,
member of Live In Vanuatu Everyday! (LIVE!), Man Vanuatu Blong
Non-Violence of Self and Others Project recognize that addictions,
rape, sexual, and other physical assaults are major problems in the
world. Unfortunately, men are the aggressors in most cases. It is time
for men to join others to actively stop violence. With this in mind,
we, Vanuatu Men Against Violence members of Live In Vanuatu Everyday!
(LIVE!) sign the following pledge to do everything possible to decrease
the number of violent incidences in Vanuatu and the world around us. It
is time for men to join others to actively stop violence. I take the
pledge below to do everything possible to work towards a Non-Violent
Vanuatu and World around us.
I, ________________________________________pledge to:
Recognize that women and men are equal.
Respect, protect all women, children and other men from all forms of
abuse including verbal, physical, sexual and psychological abuse and
peacefully intervene if necessary.
Respect and protect a child's right to be safe from all forms of abuse
including verbal, physical, sexual and psychological abuse and
peacefully intervene if necessary.
Respect myself and not commit acts of abuse or violence against self
including kava, alcohol, other drug abuse or gambling and seek help and
commit to stop and recover necessary.
Not commit acts of violence including verbal, physical, or sexual acts against women, men, youth or children.
Respect people's right to say no, listen, behave accordingly and never blame a woman for rape.
Ask if I am unsure of what a woman wants and never think that a woman owes a man sex under any circumstances.
Keep communication about self abuse, rape, sexual and other physical assault open at all times.
Take responsibility for my actions and learn peaceful intervention skills for others.
Make a list of all people I have hurt or offended in any way through
abusive actions to myself or others and humbly ask their forgiveness.
Wherever I go, be responsible for and peacefully intervene with others who use violence to control others.
Wherever I go, be responsible for victims of abuse of both self and others, reach out to help and protect them.
__________________________________________________
SIGNED DATE
___________________________________________________
WITNESS DATE
__________________________________________________
ADDRESS
__________________________________________________
CLOSEST TELEPHONE CONTACT NUMBER(s)
In Port Vila, men who participated in this learning event decided to reach 500 other men. They agreed to spend time seated at a card table on the main street and teach men who passed by what they had learned and then have them take the pledge. Their event was successful and made the local newspaper.
"This is the type of activity that cause people in Least Developing areas to love Americans. On the other hand, it seems we in developed countries have much to learn from our neighbours in "less" developed nations, such as their taking their new knowledge and sharing it with other men to help stop violence, even though it meant sitting in the hot sun to do it," reported Dupre'.
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